Carol Gilbert Writes from Alderson Federal Prison PONDERINGS FROM THE ETERNAL NOW December 2004 #17

Dearest friends,

December is filled with sacred days for people of different traditional faiths and spiritual paths.

In my own Roman Catholic tradition we are in the season of Advent. Advent is the four weeks before Christmas and is a time of waiting and anticipation.

My Advent reflections this year are especially appropriate because not only are we waiting for a reply to the appeal but I also have received this news - when people are convicted of a crime, after release from prison they must return to the state in which they were convicted or ask for relocation. Relocation is usually not a problem. However, the State of Maryland is refusing to accept me for my three years of supervised release.

My case manager and unit manager called me to their office to hand-deliver a copy of the letter denying my request. They informed me that they would begin making plans for me to locate at a homeless shelter in Colorado . I informed them that I would be returning to my home in Maryland but I understood they needed to do their jobs. The reasons the Senior US Probation Officer gives for refusing my relocation are

•  residence (I would be living at Jonah House - with Ardeth),

•  employment (I would have no paid employment),

•  special conditions (These are part of our commitment order: "The defendant shall not enter on or remain on federally protected, owned, leased or contracted national defense property or premises, Department of Defense contracted, owned or leased property or facilities or military bases or installations." )

•  and the restitution each of us owes.

Immediately, the Jonah House Community, my religious congregation and lawyers helped draft a request for reconsideration. Letters were also sent to various political leaders and the Jonah House folks have had some meetings with them. At this point I am asking you to send prayers of positive energy to the probation department of Maryland .

I am very much at peace because, unlike some women here, I have a home, food, heath care and the loving support of family and friends awaiting me. I also know the grace will be given for whatever the consequences, which could be more prison time.

To keep abreast of my situation, you can access the Jonah House website, www.jonahhouse.org and I'll keep you posted in these ponderings.

One of the extraordinary sights this past month has been watching our turkey vultures - often incorrectly called buzzards. These eagle-like birds are often seen soaring aloft in wide circles right over our heads. One early Saturday morning, my friend and I were walking, we looked up and could hear their wings! We also have three to four large trees to the east that fill with these birds. The exciting sight is watching them spread their six foot wingspan to dry and/or sun themselves.

I wish I were a nature writer and could describe for you the low clouds and mist that have been awe inspiring meditations in these mountains. Another magnificent sight is when the sun shines on certain areas and others remain dark. I would love to have a camera at these times but am learning to carry the mental image with me.

My contribution to the Yarn and Loom Project was 25 pairs of mittens, 2 sweaters, 5 hats, 3 scarves, 2 pairs of slouch socks, 1 shawl and 1 lap blanket. These items go to the local social services and a nursing home for distribution. My hope is to count the hours of knitting toward restitution if it becomes an issue.

Two women visited us who practice Starhawk's spiritual path and gave us an introduction to Elements of Magic, reclaiming the tradition of paganism. They plan to come once a month and their next time will be celebration of Yule.

I am so grateful for the hundreds of birthday cards, prayers and wishes from all of you. I kept my birthday a secret here.

As we close out the year and await the New Year we must ask ourselves, "What can we do knowing that the Pentagon presently has 77 major weapons systems under development?" Perhaps these Christmas words from theologian Karl Rahner can give us some hope:

Begin by lighting the candles.
It is Christmas.
Light the candles.
They have more right to exist than all the darkness.

And so, friends, let us light the candles. Let us be the light. Let us celebrate these days. All we have is our love and our eternal now. Let us not lose hope.

With my deepest gratitude,
Carol Gilbert , O.P. #10856-039 R1
FPC Alderson
Box A
Alderson WV 24910